The story of falling hard.

Today has been so busy and happy that I'm finally home and settled down at 11pm.
Updates tomorrow but I feel like sharing some stuff here to voice out my feelings :/

Even though this blog isn't private; I hope I'll get some respect & privacy :)

I remember the first time noticing you was when I heard your voice on the first day of Semester 2, it was near to perfect and I felt so secure listening to it.
You looked shy, but so amazing. 
I even remembered you were my second eye-candy in class, we were at Lawn buying food together but I started to see you in a different perspective.That feeling was still so memorable.

The first time I talked to you was when I wanted to borrow your shades. Firstly because I needed it; secondly, I guess I really wanted to talk to you.
Those eyes were so mysterious, that voice so perfect; and the feeling beside you was beautiful.
I looked forward to school everyday; going crazy & telling my other classmates about you, and you were the only one kept in suspense.

Time past & we got really close. We text and messaged each other on Facebook, hanged out outside and sometimes even spending time privately. Little arguments were part of our friendship, but I still felt happy to talk to you. 
The first time opening up to you was special, I was too afraid to voice out; but you were so non-judgmental. Not only to me but everyone; which was why I was so attracted to you. You didn't bother how I behaved; how I talk & how I speak in the most honest answers. You only made me smile & made fun of our flaws.

Things changed; one simple argument lead to a lost of friendship for over a month or more. 
I really missed you; and things happened to you which made me worry. I knew I still had a thing for you; but I thought it was over; completely over.

Just one day; a miracle really did happen. You apologized; you talked to me. We even talked for a few hours updating each other about our lives. I cried because I was so happy and touched with the words you told me; and I will never forget that moment.

Ever since then; we became back to how we were. I felt awkward and insecure at first; but we met in real life on that memorable day. Where we just sat at Mac Donald's and talked about anything and everything till I had sore throat. 
I received my birthday present that you promised last year; it was the happiest day of 2013 so far.

My heart gradually changed and fell for you. I started to let go of the past and was always so happy to talk to you. 
It was so painful at first; but when I accepted reality, I told myself that there was no turning back.

Both of us were equally confused with who and what we really wanted. But we knew we still wanted each other this way; or was it only me?
The first long hug from you was at Marina Barrage; it was perfect. The feeling felt so warm that it was so hard to let go. I could even doze off leaning on your shoulders.

We missed each other so dearly and finally got another chance to meet up. I was so happy and calm after all chaos and studying.
Even though it was just many hours sitting somewhere peaceful; I loved it. I fell for everything about you; because things were just so simple. 

The mistake happened: I couldn't control my emotions.
That feeling when my lips touched yours felt like a whole new life has begun for me. 
I was ready for anything; but after knowing that you didn't want things to change, I fell hard.

I have no one to confide my feelings to; neither can I tell him all these.
All I have to do is wait; to wait till this feeling subsides,or wait till I get numb.
I wish that the mistake didn't happened; then it wouldn't hurt as much.
Why must this "L" word kill me all over again.