Wednesday, September 12, 2012

When I'm emotional :'(



Sometimes when we’re alone; we tend to think so much that we start to drift away from this world. We start to dream and fantasize; whether it’s something happy or sad, most of us will always have dreams.
Especially when it comes to love; what is love? When can we find true love? What is true love? Will it last forever? Up till now; no one really knows.

Love is like a dream to me; even though I’m attached to someone I really love, I still feel like part of this is missing. It feels like I will never achieve it, never feel it and never understand it. I may love weddings; children; family, but I have never thought of being engaged to someone. Maybe because I feel like I’m not good enough for my other half, maybe because I want a perfect love no one could ever give me. The only love I have is the love for me. Currently aged 17 and I still can’t love myself fully; is this why I dream so much?

I always wished to have this guy who would do everything single thing with me.

A guy that would let everyone know how much he loves me;
A guy that would let all the girls be jealous and make me not jealous of other relationships;
A guy that would make me feel like the past doesn’t matter;
A guy that would always let me win in small arguments and listen willingly to whatever I say;
A guy that can be as crazy as me doing all the embarrassing things together and having fun;
A guy that would always date me out; giving me small surprises; wanting to want me more;
A guy that would hug me and make me feeling secure;
A guy that would kiss me like it was our last kiss;
A guy that I would crave for and being naughty playing around with each other;
A guy that would bring me to crazy places to have fun and make me laugh till I cry so much;
A guy that would bring me to quiet places like the beach and carry me everywhere so that my feet wouldn’t be so dirty;
A guy that will tickle me so much till I fall and that’s when he would kiss me just like how movies are;
A guy that has the heart for anything and everything in this world including me;
A guy that would say I love you every time he feels it.

Just a guy to give me perfect love; a guy that I can get married with and continue our path of happiness; sorrow or anything that comes into our way.  To prove to me that marriage does not make our lives worst but to continue our sweet romance we had.

Am I asking too much? Is this just a dream? I just want a perfect love. The perfect one for me; the one that would be by my side when I’m happy; sad; in labour; in bed; and lastly when I die.

Maybe I’m just selfish you know? After all; I’m only 17 J

Yeah; my perfect love.

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