_bellxne

it's so difficult to smile now when i'm alone.

it's just so painful inside while i'm strong on the outside.

woke up at 8 today and i couldnt sleep back. for a moment i thought we were still together.

i didnt cry last night, i was too tired and slept off nearly instantly. he was tired, but i guess he was lying.

i went to my toilet and saw myself in the mirror, tears just rolled down my eyes. i couldnt control it, i kept asking myself what should i do.

" should i just let us be friends?"

" should i try to make things better?"

" should i just let go and let it flow by itself?"

" do i have enough energy to pull through this?"

so many questions in my mind but i know in my heart that i will still try no matter how many times my heart is broken.

i've been hurt so many times in this relationship but nothing is going to stop me.

maybe i'm stupid and keeping all my pride to save this but this is my life, he is my life.

i've really no mood to post about my usa trip. ikr, super spoiler. not today cos gonna be out the whole day i guess.

i need to be busy to keep my thoughts away.

meeting clarie today, at least there's someone to be hyper with (:

thanks to those who tried cheering me up. my mood is just unstable so it's like a woman having pms everyday. so sorry! i'll blog soon. or maybe later at night.

baby, i miss you and i love you. i'll wait for your love to be back, i'll always be with you when you're feeling down. when you need me i'll be there to listen, when you're happy i hope you will share your joy with me. I just wanna be part of your life. lastly, i'm terribly sorry.