_bellxne

i just broke up.

yes and many people still thought i was single all along.

and yes all along since july i was attatched.

i cant type out too many information here because many people would be reading this (:

many people will ask me if i'm okay.

no i am not okay but i aint crying, yet.

this relationship is the best yet weird one, because it's all about the feelings.

many couples will always break apart due to something particular and for me it is the feelings.

and fyi it isnt me. when it comes to love, it seldom fades. call me despo.

things arent good for this whole while, and i did something wrong that made the whole thing gone.

oh well,

we broke up for the time being.

who is he? i cant tell you. and for those who know, just dont go around saying it out.

but actually its for his sake not mine.

we didnt wanna be in an open relationship, or let's say he.

we wanted to try it out till end of the year. and if nothing happens, we'll be friends.

if there's something, we'll be open.

so i guess 50% you all wont get to know who eh haha kaypos.

i broke down so much but he says he will try his best and he hopes i will too.

i was glad when i saw that (: cos i know my mistake and i will try my best.

even though i used up so much energy just to be with him and making this relationship work,

i know i still have alot more to try till i really give up.

some tell me to just give up, others say i can do better.

i haven't made up a decision up till now, but i know i still cant let go all the way.

so yea, we're not talking for the mean time. i hope i wont cry to sleep tonight.

i dono how he feels now. sad, angry, disappointed. or all?

why do i seem so confident that i can get him back? is it my problem? is there sth wrong with me?

you know i pray so hard and i hope god will notice me and whatever i've done.

when i go to usa i pray he's safe and well, whenever i see sth nice i always hope he's here to experience something he has never seen before.

he is my top priority. and i will do anything to get his love back.

i know i've typed alot of crap here but this is just what i'm thinking and got to say.

i'm just feeling unstable and i can just cry or laugh anytime. so i'm sorry if sometimes i just ignore you or reply a little and suddenly go bonkers~

i know most likely you wont be even looking at my blog but baby i still love you and i will try my best to get us back.

i know you keep pushing me away and think that i'm mad cos i keep pulling you back.

the reason is that i know you're the right one for me. you indirectly saved my life from my past and you changed my perspective of life. i may have hurt you many times but please know i dont mean it.

i hope to receive your text soon cos i'm constantly checking my phone even though there's no vibration.

i love you.