Monday, July 28, 2014

Thoughts at 2am.

Hello to whoever's reading here, I know I've been away for quite awhile and there's really nothing much to blog about. Even though I've been really busy going out, it's just the same few people and same few things. I initially wanted to blog about going out with le bij but I'm too lazy. Right now I'm just snuggled up ready to sleep but unable to because of too many thoughts and a screwed body clock.

Life has been so stable nowadays but everything's that unstable is just in my head. I honestly don't even know what the fuck I'm rambling about LOL. but yes I just missed this little paradise where I could pour out my emotions to. 

I miss so many things in life that I wish I could do. Of course some are easy to do it alone but some, you just wish someone so close to your heart to be there for you. You meet that person and you feel like you're meeting yourself; which to me is the best feeling ever. 

It's crazy how during this point of time I could encourage and help the people around me whereas I can't even help myself. I guess it always happens to us huh? We think we're some kind ass people being able to help others, but when we look at ourselves in the mirror we wish we could listen to our own advice. 

If anyone really knew and understood me comparing my past and present, I have grown so much and changed for the better. Which is a good thing; right? But sometimes I wonder what if I didn't? What if I remained that bitch that everyone hated. Am I changing for the right purpose, right people or plainly for myself?

When you think of life, what comes into your mind? When I question that in my head, all I feel is a sigh, a deep breath out of my body and always thinking "it's such an asshole". Funny thing is few seconds later, I shrug it off and move on with it; move on with that asshole.

Someone I met recently taught me so much about hope and faith. It was everything I hated and lacked of. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really human to begin with because I lack so many good points of a person. But sometimes I kinda like myself, myself for hating hope; believe; faith and pixie dust shit. 





Hahaha okay bye.

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